Tales of a First Time Barber

As if my duties as a SAHM aren’t long enough, now, I must add “barber” to the list. And trust me when I tell you, this is NOT a job title I really wanted to add to my responsibilities.


You see, hubby is the barber in the family.  In fact, he cuts all our hair.  I can’t remember the last time (or if there was EVER a time) any of us went to a barber…wait, I take that back.  Late 2010/early 2011, I had a hairdresser cut my hair.  Hubby felt he could do a better job.  Anyhow, hubby is in Alberta, Canada for work and left at the end of January. Unfortunately, he didn’t get a chance to cut the boys’s hair before he left, and he said I would have to take over the duties.

You can imagine the look of joy on my face to that piece of news.

I’ve got to do WHAT?!?!?!?!?
So, this weekend, I decided to face the music, or in this case, the clippers, and dive right in.  I wish I could say the boys were all in and on board for this new found adventure.

I’m surprised no one heard any of the chaos that ensued in my house this weekend.

I was NOT looking forward to this AT ALL.  I have never, EVER cut hair and now I’m responsible for not 1, not 2, but 3…3 haircuts!!!  Saturday was the first attempt, and let’s just say a trip to the dentist for a root canal would have been better than attempting to have my oldest sit down for a haircut.  He bawled, he fought, he was hungry, he was tired, his feet hurt, his nose hairs were out of place.

Jeez, just say you don’t want me to cut your hair.  No dramatics necessary.

Man, was I upset.  No, I was PISSED!!!  I was pissed at the boys for acting up and not giving me a chance.  I was pissed at hubby because he left me with such a HUGE undertaking and no form of training.  Talk about jumping without a net or life preserver.  I was pissed at myself because I let this get the best of me.

So, I chalked up Saturday as a wash.  Clippers/Boys -1; Mom – 0.

This morning, during our Skype chat with hubby, we spoke a little about how to tackle the hair cutting, and in my usual style, wouldn’t let hubby get a word in edgewise without adding my pity party woes.  He wasn’t happy, but I did hear what he had to say.  So, we decided to give it a good ole try once again.

Justus was a willing participant.  Heck, he was probably the easiest of the 3.  Zip, zip, done.  Hey, I survived and his head was still attached to his body.  Yay, Mom!!!

Justus’s New Cut

The next 2 weren’t so easy.


First, Isaac said he wanted to go, then, he got in the chair, and you’d think I took his favorite toy.  That didn’t start out great.  So, out of the chair he went, and in popped Elijah.

Good grief, this kid has a lot of hair.  It’s curly thick and FULL.  Why?  He wanted to grow it out a bit, but decided he got tired of it.  Lucky me, huh?  So, I get the clippers to Elijah’s hair, and hearing the words of hubby in my head, I just dive in.  Hair to the left; hair to the right; little curls here; stragglers there.  Holy crap, WHAT DID I DO TO MY CHILD’S HAIR?!?!?  I got a little too confident, switched to a smaller attachment, and let’s just say it took off more than I expected in that first run through.  Oh well, maybe it will start a trend.  Sorry, bud.
Elijah’s Happy with Mom’s Skills

This is NOT looking great for me and I’m really not liking this new responsibility.


Well, I survived that one, I managed to fix it up as best I could and he still looks like my big guy.  He did a lot better than the day before and actually said he likes it.

Two down; one to go.

I think I should have had a drink before I took on Isaac.

Oh my goodness, when they say tackle the worst FIRST, listen.  First, Isaac had to go to the bathroom; then his back itched; then he was thirsty; then his back itched again; then his leg was hurting; then he didn’t want his hair cut; then his neck hurt…

Shoot me; shoot me NOW!!!

After some persuading; bribing and having Elijah sit right in front of Isaac, he FINALLY decides to sit down.  Then, he gets back up.  Then he sits down again.  But he covers his head.  His hands didn’t move from his head for what felt like YEARS, but then he decided his hands were tired.

Originally, he wanted to keep his Mohawk, so we agreed that we would simply shape up the sides and he’d be on his merry way.  As I start the clippers, the arms go over the head, AGAIN!!!

Seriously, didn’t we JUST have this conversation 2 SECONDS AGO?!?!?!

OK, I say, “I’m DONE!!!”  Isaac was not liking that.  So, he decides to sit down, keep his hands to his sides and let me shape up the sides of his head.

“Mom, I don’t want my Mohawk anymore.  I want it cut off.”
“Are you sure, Isaac?”
“Yes, Mom.  I don’t want the Mohawk anymore.”

Breathe in…breathe out!!!

So, before he could change his mind, I went right for that Mohawk…in one felt swoop, that bad boy was GONE.

Up jumps Isaac off the chair.  “I need to see, Mommy.”

Mind you, they NEVER pull this crap with their Dad when HE’S cutting their hair.  HA, let them try something like that.


Isaac in his calm state.  I’m pretty proud of
how it turned out.  Don’t let that
cute face fool you.

Another go around with the clippers and then I need to change the blade.  Meltdown number 5 million starts.  “No, I don’t want the green one.  I want the purple one.”   After another back and forth battle and explaining that the back of his head (the nape area) needs just a little more help, he was NOT having it.  


What was I THINKING?!?!?!

Well, he FINALLY gave in and let me finish.  He survived, and to be honest, his looks the best of them all.

So, once they’re all cleaned up and dressed, I ask to take some pictures to capture this once in a lifetime moment.  Pictures…this is something we do all the time.  Someone tell me why THIS time, they all acted as if they were facing a firing squad?!?!?  My goodness, didn’t we just survive the apocalypse?!?!?
Yep, those are my boys.  And I just finished
cutting all 3 of their hair!!!

Anyhow, my first attempt at being a barber ended with everyone coming out fine on the other side.  We all survived, and now, they’re asleep.  Yep, I’m SuperMom!!!


So, to any of my fellow Moms who may be (or have been) in my shoes, and faced with the lovely task of cutting your child(ren)’s hair, realize they’re probably going to fight you and make your life hell, but in the end you will survive.  Trust me, you will.
Heaven help me when I have to do this AGAIN!?!?!?  Hopefully, hubby will be home by then.
Yay, we all survived!!!

Oh man, I need a drink!!!  (And this comes from someone who hasn’t had a drink in a LOOONNNNNNG time!!!)

Take care, and thanks for reading.




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Living on Borrowed Time

On Thursday, May 16, 2013 at 12:46am, my Dad passed away.  He was 63 years old.  First, my brother called and left a message (I fell asleep and didn’t hear the phone,) then at 4:07am (my time,) I heard the news from my Mom.  I felt numb when I heard the news.  I thought maybe I heard wrong, because there’s no way my Dad could be dead  Growing up, you have this belief, or at least I did, that our parents were immortal.  They were the ONLY people on Earth who would live forever.  Am I the only one who thought this as a kid?  As an adult?  It just didn’t make sense. 

I guess I should start from the beginning.  On May 24, 2012, our lives changed forever.  My Dad was working, tried to take a drink of water and couldn’t swallow.  He pulled over, called 911 and was taken to the hospital.  What turned out to be a small concern ended up being a stroke.  He was in the hospital for about 6 weeks and it was a whirlwind of events.   My parents and brother live in NY, I live in Canada with my family and I wasn’t able to be there to help.  You can’t imagine the level of guilt that I felt every day.  I realize that it’s not my fault, but, I wanted to be there and couldn’t.  Nothing that anyone will say will take away that guilt.  Anyhow, despite a few setbacks, he was improving and getting back to his normal self.  Just 5 days prior, the boys and I saw him on Skype and he looked really good.  There’s got to be more to all this, because it really doesn’t make sense.  Hopefully we’ll get some answers very soon.

I went home to NY to be with my Mom and brother and we have been going through his affairs.  It’s quite the toll, let me tell you.  This was an experience that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  The entire ordeal of the whole thing is a lot of work.  Be sure you are prepared mentally, emotionally, financially, etc.  It’s really important to make sure all your “i”s are dotted and “t”s are crossed.

I saw my Dad and said my goodbyes.  I had my closure and told him what I needed to say.  Hopefully he is at peace and perhaps he heard what I said.  I really do hope that he is at peace.  I think the stroke and being immobilized was too much for him, especially since he was such a vibrant, active, hard-working man.  This pretty much stopped him in his tracks.  But, I’m not sure.  He looked good, almost restful.

Aside from my maternal and paternal grandmother’s passing, this is the third death I’ve experienced and it’s given me a huge wake up call that we are all living on borrowed time.  Tomorrow isn’t promised to us; nothing is promised to us really, except life and death.  It’s what we do in between the two that really matters.

These past 2 weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, to say the least.  Some things were revealed that I thought only happened in the movies and has really opened my eyes to how I live my life and how I will live my life from now on.  I’ve often heard that you go through a metamorphosis when someone close to you dies, and I believe that to be true.  I do know this…no one is perfect, we all have our flaws and we are not going to make everyone happy.  That’s not why we are here.  If you’re living your life trying to make everyone else happy, you’re going to be miserable.  If you’re living your life as if you are invincible, you’re in for a huge reality check.  If you’re living your life as if you are God’s gift to the world, let me be the one to burst your bubble and tell you, “No, you’re not!!!  Get that chip off your shoulder and be decent.  You put your pants on the same as everyone else, you bleed just like everyone else.  Get over yourself.” 

It was great seeing my Mom, Brother, family and some of my friends that I was able to see while I was back in NY for the week.  Right now, I’m sitting at the gate in Toronto waiting on my last leg home to PEI.  My Mom is worried that I might breakdown when I get back.  I don’t think I will, but the reality hasn’t set in for me yet.  I haven’t cried much, but did get emotional last week.  Does it mean I don’t miss him?  Who knows.  Am I in denial?  I don’t think so – I saw him and he’s really dead.  I’ll be home soon, and I can’t wait to see my boys and give them all great big hugs and kisses – all 4 of them!!!

I’m not one to give advice, but, here’s what I do know – if you’ve been meaning to contact someone, pick up the phone and call them.  If you’ve done someone wrong, apologize.  If you’re hurt, tell someone.  Do right by others; do right by yourself and don’t be a know-it-all.  Be decent; be genuine; be yourself.  Tomorrow isn’t promised to us.  We really are on borrowed time.