As if my duties as a SAHM aren’t long enough, now, I must add “barber” to the list. And trust me when I tell you, this is NOT a job title I really wanted to add to my responsibilities.
You see, hubby is the barber in the family. In fact, he cuts all our hair. I can’t remember the last time (or if there was EVER a time) any of us went to a barber…wait, I take that back. Late 2010/early 2011, I had a hairdresser cut my hair. Hubby felt he could do a better job. Anyhow, hubby is in Alberta, Canada for work and left at the end of January. Unfortunately, he didn’t get a chance to cut the boys’s hair before he left, and he said I would have to take over the duties.
You can imagine the look of joy on my face to that piece of news.
|I’ve got to do WHAT?!?!?!?!?
So, this weekend, I decided to face the music, or in this case, the clippers, and dive right in. I wish I could say the boys were all in and on board for this new found adventure.
I’m surprised no one heard any of the chaos that ensued in my house this weekend.
I was NOT looking forward to this AT ALL. I have never, EVER cut hair and now I’m responsible for not 1, not 2, but 3…3 haircuts!!! Saturday was the first attempt, and let’s just say a trip to the dentist for a root canal would have been better than attempting to have my oldest sit down for a haircut. He bawled, he fought, he was hungry, he was tired, his feet hurt, his nose hairs were out of place.
Jeez, just say you don’t want me to cut your hair. No dramatics necessary.
Man, was I upset. No, I was PISSED!!! I was pissed at the boys for acting up and not giving me a chance. I was pissed at hubby because he left me with such a HUGE undertaking and no form of training. Talk about jumping without a net or life preserver. I was pissed at myself because I let this get the best of me.
So, I chalked up Saturday as a wash. Clippers/Boys -1; Mom – 0.
This morning, during our Skype chat with hubby, we spoke a little about how to tackle the hair cutting, and in my usual style, wouldn’t let hubby get a word in edgewise without adding my pity party woes. He wasn’t happy, but I did hear what he had to say. So, we decided to give it a good ole try once again.
Justus was a willing participant. Heck, he was probably the easiest of the 3. Zip, zip, done. Hey, I survived and his head was still attached to his body. Yay, Mom!!!
|Justus’s New Cut
The next 2 weren’t so easy.
First, Isaac said he wanted to go, then, he got in the chair, and you’d think I took his favorite toy. That didn’t start out great. So, out of the chair he went, and in popped Elijah.
Good grief, this kid has a lot of hair. It’s curly thick and FULL. Why? He wanted to grow it out a bit, but decided he got tired of it. Lucky me, huh? So, I get the clippers to Elijah’s hair, and hearing the words of hubby in my head, I just dive in. Hair to the left; hair to the right; little curls here; stragglers there. Holy crap, WHAT DID I DO TO MY CHILD’S HAIR?!?!? I got a little too confident, switched to a smaller attachment, and let’s just say it took off more than I expected in that first run through. Oh well, maybe it will start a trend. Sorry, bud.
|Elijah’s Happy with Mom’s Skills
This is NOT looking great for me and I’m really not liking this new responsibility.
Well, I survived that one, I managed to fix it up as best I could and he still looks like my big guy. He did a lot better than the day before and actually said he likes it.
Two down; one to go.
I think I should have had a drink before I took on Isaac.
Oh my goodness, when they say tackle the worst FIRST, listen. First, Isaac had to go to the bathroom; then his back itched; then he was thirsty; then his back itched again; then his leg was hurting; then he didn’t want his hair cut; then his neck hurt…
Shoot me; shoot me NOW!!!
After some persuading; bribing and having Elijah sit right in front of Isaac, he FINALLY decides to sit down. Then, he gets back up. Then he sits down again. But he covers his head. His hands didn’t move from his head for what felt like YEARS, but then he decided his hands were tired.
Originally, he wanted to keep his Mohawk, so we agreed that we would simply shape up the sides and he’d be on his merry way. As I start the clippers, the arms go over the head, AGAIN!!!
Seriously, didn’t we JUST have this conversation 2 SECONDS AGO?!?!?!
OK, I say, “I’m DONE!!!” Isaac was not liking that. So, he decides to sit down, keep his hands to his sides and let me shape up the sides of his head.
“Mom, I don’t want my Mohawk anymore. I want it cut off.”
“Are you sure, Isaac?”
“Yes, Mom. I don’t want the Mohawk anymore.”
Breathe in…breathe out!!!
So, before he could change his mind, I went right for that Mohawk…in one felt swoop, that bad boy was GONE.
Up jumps Isaac off the chair. “I need to see, Mommy.”
Mind you, they NEVER pull this crap with their Dad when HE’S cutting their hair. HA, let them try something like that.
|Isaac in his calm state. I’m pretty proud of
how it turned out. Don’t let that
cute face fool you.
Another go around with the clippers and then I need to change the blade. Meltdown number 5 million starts. “No, I don’t want the green one. I want the purple one.” After another back and forth battle and explaining that the back of his head (the nape area) needs just a little more help, he was NOT having it.
What was I THINKING?!?!?!
Well, he FINALLY gave in and let me finish. He survived, and to be honest, his looks the best of them all.
So, once they’re all cleaned up and dressed, I ask to take some pictures to capture this once in a lifetime moment. Pictures…this is something we do all the time. Someone tell me why THIS time, they all acted as if they were facing a firing squad?!?!? My goodness, didn’t we just survive the apocalypse?!?!?
|Yep, those are my boys. And I just finished
cutting all 3 of their hair!!!
Anyhow, my first attempt at being a barber ended with everyone coming out fine on the other side. We all survived, and now, they’re asleep. Yep, I’m SuperMom!!!
So, to any of my fellow Moms who may be (or have been) in my shoes, and faced with the lovely task of cutting your child(ren)’s hair, realize they’re probably going to fight you and make your life hell, but in the end you will survive. Trust me, you will.
Heaven help me when I have to do this AGAIN!?!?!? Hopefully, hubby will be home by then.
|Yay, we all survived!!!
Oh man, I need a drink!!! (And this comes from someone who hasn’t had a drink in a LOOONNNNNNG time!!!)
Take care, and thanks for reading.