A Difficult Time in Your Life – 100 Day Blog Challenge – Day 57

A Difficult Time

I’ve been sitting here for what feels like an enternity (but is probably about 20 minutes,) figuring out how to start this blog post.  It’s fairly simple – I know the difficult time in my life, but it’s a matter of how to talk about it.  It’s ben just over a yer since my Dad passed, and it’s still a bit surreal.

We didn’t have your typical father-daughter relationship.  In fact, it really wasn’t.  There are some things that I learned from him and that have carried over into my life as a parent, but I never felt like “Daddy’s Little Girl.”  What can you do, right?  It’s who he was, and regardless of certain things in the past, he is half the reason I am alive today.

Two years ago this month, my Dad suffered what we came to realize was a stroke, while on the way to work.  He was smart enough to pull over when he realized he couldn’t swallow.  He was admitted to the local hospital and things went downhill.  He ended up in ICU and was there for about 6-8 weeks.  When he went home, it was my Mom and brother who took care of him.  Fast forward to almost a year later – he seemed to be progressing, but on May 16, I believe he was at peace and wanted to move on.  This is what I keep telling myself, just because knowing who he was and the type of person he was, not being able to work and provide for his family had to have been a major blow.

Growing up, we think our parents are invincible and will live forever.  When both my grandmothers died, it was the beginning of me experiencing death, and I really didn’t like it; I don’t like it now.  I understand death is a part of living, but I tend to be a little selfish in this area.  I think I ‘m rambling right now.  Some days are better than others; sometimes I just have no idea what or how to feel.  I’ve been able to turn to some friends who have been through similar situations of losing a parent, and it’s hard to explain to those who haven’t gone through it.  

As a parent, it is my hope that as my kids get older…I hope and pray that my kids will know how much I love them and everything I do is to provide the best life for them.  I’m really rambling now, and I’m not even sure I’m still discussing the topic.

Some days are better than others…