What Are You Afraid Of?
This is just too interesting. Almost a month ago, one of my posts was about fear, and asking what are we afraid of?
For me, I’m not going to lie, I have some fears, and a lot of times, I let those fears take over when they really don’t need to. I listed a few in my earlier post, and I’ve thought of a couple more, which I will share in this post.
- The Unknown – with this one, it can have different meanings. In this case, it’s not knowing what the future will bring. I’m not saying I want to know EVERYTHING that will happen, but just not knowing certain things can be a little nerving.
- Snakes/Worms – this goes back to my 20 facts about me post and creepy crawlers. When I was a kid, I saw this movie called “Squirm,” which was about some killer earthworms. It was HORRID…they were coming out of the shower heads, they were in people’s drinks, they were in the beds; I mean, it was just….UGH!!! I’m not even gonna get into snakes or spiders. Remember “Anaconda,” “Arachnophobia”? Nuff said.
- People – seriously, I worry about some people and their thinking. It’s literally scary the things some people think and believe to the point where you have to wonder if everything is running properly upstairs. I wonder how some people can believe their own craziness, and I’m sure some may look at me and say, “Well who are you to label someone crazy…” But, in all honesty, there are some people in this world who really scare me if they were to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, if that makes any sense. People just scare me.
- My own insecurities – yes, I doubt myself a lot, I sometimes second guess myself or let other people’s views cloud my judgement. There have been times where someone has said something about me THEY felt was true and because of my insecurities, I almost believed it to be true. Crazy, huh? But, I’m a very emotional person, in the sense that I am very giving to others and when it’s mistaken for something else, I start to question/doubt myself. I don’t give myself enough credit. But, this is something that I have been working on to improve.
So, those are some more of my fears, but as the photo states above, those fears are just False Evidence Appearing Real and the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. So, it’s time to get over ourselves. Everyone else has.
I recently read a post in one of the groups I’m in which asked the members to work on developing/building relationships with others in the group as opposed to simply posting a link to your opportunity and hoping something will stick. This hit a nerve for me in a good way because I couldn’t agree more with that statement.
I’ve noticed a trend lately of individuals who work from home joining multiple groups, posting their links and that’s about it. This seems to be the new trend; almost a “post and run” type of strategy. When you think about it, doesn’t it almost feel like those people you see on the streets wearing the sandwich boards yelling something and/or handing out flyers. They almost become an eyesore and after a while, they just don’t exist anymore.
Now, I am guilty of this type of “marketing strategy” as I have made blanket posts of these types sometimes as a form of desperation or thinking MY posts were going to stand out from all the others. In reality, there was no substance, nothing that would really draw someone to WANT to reach out and find out what I had to offer.
I didn’t develop a RELATIONSHIP with people.
This, I feel, is where many of us miss the mark. It’s not about joining a group then posting a link. It’s about getting to know others. Finding someone who “speaks” to you and reaching out to get to know them. Think about all the relationships you’ve encountered. Your boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, child, etc. They didn’t happen overnight – there was a “courting process” so to speak. You put your best foot forward, made sure your hair was combed, you smelled nice, you dressed nicely…you wanted to make a GREAT first impression because you really liked this person. You wanted to make sure that the person of interest took notice in the RIGHT way and that you weren’t off-putting.
OK, with a child, the relationship building process is a little different, but there is still that element of trust that comes into play. The person on the other end needs to feel a connection with you. The need to feel that you are looking out for THEIR best interest and not YOUR bottom line. People are very smart and can tell when they are being taken or trying to be “gotten.” People don’t want to feel as if they are a trophy, prize or meal ticket, so to speak. People want to know and feel that they can trust YOU!!!
These relationships take TIME!!! They don’t happen overnight, and if you’re too aggressive, you just may lose that potential customer/business partner. Take the time to get to know the other person. Take a vested interest in THEM. Find out about THEM. Ask open-ended questions which gets them engaged in conversation, and then LISTEN!!! Remember, we’re given 2 ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen more, talk less.
Make mental notes about the person and remain engaged. Agree to keep in touch and always keep the conversations private. Communicate via email, text message and if you’re local, once the time is right, arrange a time to meet. Do you want to know what happens when you foster and develop that relationship? You find a new friend, someone who becomes a PERSON with real problems and someone you can HELP!!! What also happens is that person feels grateful to you for taking the time to get to know them, find out their quirks, likes, dislikes and develop that relationship. Then, and only then, will they feel comfortable enough to WANT to hear what you have to offer as a means of help.
This isn’t fool-proof and not all people respond the same way. But, the basic premise is the same. It is and always will be about the RELATIONSHIP. Keep building the relationship with others, show a genuine interest and caring attitude, and that will open more doors than any link ever could.
What is Fear?
Fear. Four little letters that have such a BIG impact on our lives. What is fear? False Evidence Appearing Real (or False Expectations Appearing Real.) It’s what we perceive in our minds and what we sometimes let consume us.
I’m guilty of being afraid of lots of things. I’m not gonna lie, but there are times when the fear takes over. When I look back on all the things I was “afraid” of, it turned out to me making mountains out of mull hills.
What are some of my fears?
Opening up to people – letting my guard down. Too often than not, I look for the good in others because it is my belief that we are all good in some way. Sometimes that has come back to bite me and I become more of an introvert and not want to let people in.
Change – change is a good thing because we tend to get very comfortable where we are. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone because that’s where all your dreams and achievements are found. Embrace change. Change is good and necessary.
Failure – this one has so many levels, it’s not even funny. Failure as a parent, wife, business woman, friend, in life. Failing to live my life to its fullest potential. Why do we do this to ourselves? Or at least why do I do this to myself?
Rejection – rather hearing “no.” When someone tells us no, we tend to take it personally. But, what we have to realize is the no is not to you, but to the situation. Or, it could mean “not now.” Learn to get past the no, embrace it and move on.
Success – when things are going bad, we know what to expect. We’re more acceptable of the downfalls, because we can pick apart what could be improved. But when things are going GREAT, you tend to wonder when the ball is going to drop or when will the rug get pulled from under you. Success can come in many forms, and no matter how big or small, those accomplishments pave the way for better things to come.
What’s the cure for FEAR?
Do it anyway!!! I’ve heard this over and over in many forms. Do it afraid. You’ve got an adrenaline rush, your palms are sweaty, your heart’s racing and that’s the BEST time to take action. Inactivity breeds fear; activity breeds results. When I first started this blog challenge, I was afraid of what the reaction of others would be. Will anyone read them? Will it make sense? Will others get it? WHO CARES?!?!?! Just do it!!! Let the chips fall where they may and things will happen. Trust the process.
What are your fears? What have you been putting off because you were afraid of the results? Take action. Do it anyway. It’ll be hard in the beginning, but once you get over that hump, everything else is smooth sailing.
Conquer your fears – take action and put those fears to rest.