Making the Adjustment – 100 Day Blog Challenge – Day 62

Getting Back into the Routine

First off, I just realized I am about 2/3 done with this blog challenge.  How did that happen?  That’s pretty exciting and the finish line is starting to emerge.

So, today was the first day back to our old routine of being a part-time single mom.  I think, no I KNOW we got spoiled and was so glad and used to having hubby/dad home.  It’s going to be yet another adjustment for all of us, but, we’re doing what we have to do to move forward.

Today was a bit of a challenge for all of us.  From getting them to pick up their toys to making their beds, to turning off the Wii, it was as if they turned off their “listen to Mom” switch or something.  We made an attempt to have an outing, and it was a case of Murphy’s Law.  Looking back on the whole experience, and after venting to my hubby, a lot of it could have been avoided and handled differently.  Hearing him say, “You kinda created your own mess” was a hard pill to swallow, and very true.  As much as the boys would like to have the dog on an outing to the Boardwalk, it just might not happen.  So, tomorrow, if the weather is nice again, we will wake up early and go for that bike/walk.  And that’s a BIG if!!!

The boys are asleep now, and it’s funny how things seem to come together AFTER they sleep.  I was about to share some pet peeves I have on raising boys, but that gave me an idea and I’m saving it for another blog post.  Today’s reflection for me is to take it one day at a time and each day will get better.  We’ve done this before and came out fine on the other end.  We will be fine once again this go around.

Keep moving forward!!!

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When it Comes to Motherhood, There’s No Cookie Cutter Solution – 100 Day Blog Challenge Day 8

A Mother’s Job is Never Easy (or Done)


When my boys were younger or when people would hear I’m a Mom of 3 boys, the immediate response was, “Boy, you’ve got your hands full.”  To be in honest, in the beginning, I didn’t see what was the big deal.  For the most part, they got along FAMOUSLY and were so cooperative.  I told them to do something, and they did it (most of the time) without too much arguing.  I just didn’t see the big deal.

Fast forward to 2014, and now I see the big deal.

My boys are now 8, 6 (in 2 weeks) and 4.  The way they act lately, you would think they were in their 30s or 40s.  Today felt like the day from HELL!!!  They weren’t listening, they were fighting, attitudes, meltdowns, on and on and on!!!

You know, I can totally see them
like this 10 years from now…
The first instance happened while I was taking a shower (yeah, even to do THAT takes skilled planning.)  Anyhow, I’m enjoying a little me time (I’ll take it whenever and wherever I can) and then it sounds like World War 3 hit.  First, a loud scream, followed by a screeching cry and yelling.  So much for a relaxing shower.  When I get out there to “diffuse” the situation, they’re upset because one won’t listen, another comes over to intervene and act like the “parent” so the other 2 start a mutiny and….the domino effect at its worst.

This wasn’t necessarily the first instance, but I made it crystal clear that under NO circumstances are they to wreak havoc.  Yeah, that worked out famously.  In the end, since they decided to act up with me in the room, I grounded them from video games for a week and put the fear of God in them that much worse would happen if they didn’t smarten up.

Decisions, Decisions

There are days when it feels as if EVERYTHING I’m doing as a Mom is wrong or I’ve missed the mark.  What’s the right way to raise the boys?  When do you step in and discipline?  Is it too harsh?  Is it too lenient?  Is anything getting through to them?  Do they even CARE?!?!?!  What’s the right answer?

I’ve come to realize that when it comes to parenting, there is NO right answer.  What works for one may not necessarily work for the other.  This doesn’t really give me a lot of comfort, because it would be nice if the bickering wouldn’t be at RIDICULOUS SPEED every 2 minutes!!!  I understand there will be sibling rivalry, but, my goodness must there be so many rivals?!?!?!

Take me AWAY!!!
It’s hard, VERY hard, and I’m not complaining, but, it would be nice to have the bickering stop for one day.  I’m sure this is part of the growing process and this will pass; heck, they really do get along great when the smoke clears.  It’s pretty amazing watching the three of them work together or come together on things.  It’ll usually be short lived, but I do revel those moments.

They’re great kids, I hear it from so many people all the time, because it’s true.  I’m not just saying this because they’re mine.  They do great things all the time and it’s my hope that the lessons we’re teaching them is sinking into their brains and they remember them as they get older.  I’m also sure that when they’re parents and they’re getting together for their annual whatever, they’ll look back on these days and laugh.

I know I am, but at the time, it wasn’t very funny.

The boys are asleep, and as usual, they are always peaceful, angelic, and so awesome when they’re not talking.  It always brings me back to when they were babies – so young, innocent, and no ability to speak.  We just couldn’t skip that part of their growing process, huh?

The saga continues…
This book has many chapters, addendum’s and everything in between.  I love my boys and I am so blessed to be their Mom.  It’s a lot of fun, I wouldn’t change it for anything.  I’m also human, I have feelings and there are some days when I feel a good smack to the head just might do the trick.

Don’t judge, unless you’ve been there. 

Yeah, I’ve got my hands full.  I know this, it’s obvious, you don’t need to point it out.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  My life would be empty.  Despite it all, the craziness makes everything normal.

The saga continues…


My Boys Will Thank Me Later

I will say this about how I raise my boys…

In and out of our house, we have rules.  If they ask for something, they must use the words, “Please” and “Thank you.”  They must be respectful to their elders, and any adult in the room.  If they get out of line (use a tone or language that we don’t like) they will get a slap on the hand, mouth or bum so they learn their lesson.  They must clean up after themselves, do chores and help around the house in any way we see fit.  They must ALWAYS be there for each other, because at the end of the day, they are brothers and they have each other to lean on for support.

I am a strict Mom.  I can also be a bit uptight.  When we go out in public, I fuss over them, and make sure they behave themselves.  I dislike it when they try to overstep the boundaries, and they do test the limits ALL THE TIME!!!  I’ve yelled at them in public, I have made an example of them in front of other kids, and they know I will call them out at any time.

Why do I do this?  I am their MOTHER!!!  I am not their friend, I am not their equal.  I am their superior and they must respect my authority.  They MUST listen to their parents, they must follow OUR rules.  I’m not here to cater to their every need or give them everything they want.  They’ve heard me say “No” to some of their requests, they’ve seen me blow my top; they’ve seen me cry.  They say they will listen, not do it again, but 9 times out of 10, the cycle has started all over again.

There are times I wonder if the words I’m saying get through to them or if I’m just talking to the air.  I know they understand me and get what I’m doing.  I’m also not a complete ogre who walks around with the yardstick.  We have other rules that we live by in our home.  We sit down at the table for meals all the time.  We say grace before every meal.  We say prayers every night before bed.  We say “I love you” more times than you can imagine.  We give each other lots of hugs and kisses and we say “Sorry” when we’ve done something wrong.

My boys won’t be boys for very long.  Next month, my oldest starts the 3rd grade and my middle is entering Kindergarten.  By next year, ALL 3 boys will be in school and there are going to be pressures from kids at every angle.  They are BOYS.  They are impressionable.  They are smart.  They are talented and they have a bright future ahead.   As their Mother, it is my job to ensure they are prepared for the world – the good, bad and ugly.  They will make mistakes, and hopefully they will learn from them.  We have a pretty strong bond and they feel comfortable telling us their troubles and I hope it continues as they become TEENAGE BOYS.

One day, they will grow up and become MEN.  They will hopefully have a great education, a successful career of their choosing (even if they decide not to partner up with me) and eventually (hopefully) they will fall in love, get married, and have children of their own.  Then and ONLY then, will they understand WHY I was so strict with them as babies.  One day, they may even have a baby girl (or 2 or 3) of their own who will grow up to be a teenage girl and eventually a WOMAN.  They will want their daughter to respect herself, her body and treat it like the temple it is.  They will want their daughter to know that her beauty comes from within and not have to seek it in the wrong places.  They will want their daughter to know and understand that saying “NO” is okay if something doesn’t feel right and that at ANY TIME, they can call on their Dad for help if needed.

My boys may not like and or appreciate all the rules and structure now, but when they get older, they will thank me later.  Why?  I am their Mother, I love them very much and it’s MY job to help raise them to become true GENTLE MEN!!!

Take care, and be well.