Change and Growth
Wow, it’s coming so close. I can’t believe this challenge is almost done.
For this topic, I needed a little help because I wasn’t really sure if I have changed over the past 5 years. Many times, at least for me, I am not able to look outside myself and see how I’ve grown. I also tend to be quite critical of myself. So, this morning, I asked my husband this question and the one thing that he shared with me in how I’ve changed over the past 5 years is how I handle myself in adverse conditions. He then went on to say that he’s noticed I don’t get overly stressed over certain situations as much as I used to because I am able to look at the big picture and realize there are some things which I cannot control.
That was a loaded comment for me and it also spoke volumes. Then I started thinking about how I have changed over the last 5 years and that’s when things started coming together. First and foremost, as a Mom, I have mellowed out quite a bit. When the boys were younger, my stress level was through the roof. I fussed over every move they made, what they did, where they were going. I was almost afraid to let them make mistakes. Today, I’m not as high maintenance with the boys. They’re older and coming into their own identities and are handling situations as they come along. I still worry and stress over them, but it’s not as overbearing as it was 5 years ago. They’re growing every day and are turning into fine young men. It’s something every Mom wants for her children and I’m doing it every day with mine.
As a Wife, I have learned to be more calm and open with my husband. This is an area that was a bit of a struggle because he’s gone a lot for work and most of the time I’m left to hold down the fort. When he would come home, we all would have to adjust and while I established a routine with the boys, my issue was always making that adjustment when he got home. A lot of times, in my mind, I had things all worked out and then he’d come home and we’d have to re-learn a whole new routine. Sometimes I felt a little resentment and it wasn’t necessary. It’s the nature of our relationship. Today, I’ve mellowed out A LOT in this area. I still tend to get a little OCD with the routines, but I am not so high strung about it.
In terms of our relationship as husband and wife, that has gotten better and still a work in progress. Marriage is constant work. It’s about building and developing those relationships, adjusting to each other’s needs and communicating. It’s a lot of work and it takes both parties to be on board WITHOUT outside influences.
I’m starting to notice a pattern of high maintenance in my life. Thank goodness I’ve mellowed out over the years.
As a business person, the biggest change I have realized goes back to what hubby said about how I handle adverse conditions. When I first started out, I was all over the place – running around like a chicken with her head chopped off. I was chasing this and that, no real focus, no real drive, no vision, no expectations. A lot of times, I treated my business like spaghetti – throwing it against the wall to see what would stick. That lead to lots of frustration, doubt, stress and a sense of not knowing.
Another area that has changed is how I deal with difficult/challenging people. In the past, I would let people walk all over me or let THEIR thougths determine who I was as a person. It wasn’t necessarily me trying to be liked by everyone or even be a “Yes” person. I wouldn’t speak up and voice my concerns or my ideas because of a lack of self-confidence. Today, I learn from those difficult/challenging people or situations and realize that at the end of the day someone else’s opinion is not my concern and that tomorrow, I will wake up, be fine and do it all over again.
Today, I am a better person. I am a better mother than I was 5 years ago. I’ve learned though my boys that I am very strong and as we all go through each of their growing stages, I can handle it. As a wife, I am more open to our relationship and realize it’s not about always having things done my way or always being right (even when I usually am.) As a business woman, I know my purpose. I’m here to help change people’s lives. I also realize that not everyone will be as receptive to what I have to offer and that’s okay. There are plenty of people out there who need help and looking for me. I will continue to search for them and make my presence known.
I know that what ever is thrown my way, I will be able to handle it. These past 5 years are just the beginning and the stepping stone for greatness ahead.
I’m excited and can’t wait!!!
Diary of a Busy Mom 